Remember video shops?
Sure, as an opening gambit this feels risky and potentially alienating for the sweet tweener demographic that I'm so openly courting with my lack of Tik Tok account and nu-metal fandom. But to heck (for the kids) with it.
From the moment I finished my first 'fun' run as a child I knew that sport was not going to be a huge part of my life and that the names of things can often be misleading. Which is why I've never released a Live Recording, eaten Jumbo Shrimp or am very rarely found involved in a Civil War. But I do love a medal.
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Manhunt was set to be a return to his roots. Twin guns, copious slo-mo, unrestrained doves. The Holy Trinity Of Woo. The things that hooked me in way back when. The things he did on our first date that made my pupils dilate and think, "oh boy this could be something special I'm definitely 'working from home' tomorrow".
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It was the summer of 2018 and there I was, posing on Hampstead Heath holding a coffee like a wannabe millennial (JUST LET ME HAVE IT) douchecapsule.
Skip forward a couple of months, and courtesy of my improv home, The Free Association, I’m auditioning for Boom Chicago, an improv theatre in Amsterdam with a much-feted history of super-successful alumni including Seth Myers, Amber Ruffin, Ike Barinholtz, Jordan Peele, Kay Cannon and more…
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THE SUN CAME OUT. Genuinely terrifying to think it's been 4 months since I last updated this 'website' but I guess that's reflective of how borderline irrelevant websites are in the social media age. If you were my REAL friend you'd be keeping up with my Kardashianing on Instagram and YouTube and even FB or Twitter. Or if you're wonderfully misguided, Vero.
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Grab your popcorn, your box of fruit gums (or milk duds if you're overseas) and grab the best seat in the house. By the time you've done this you will have missed my 6-minute film, but thanks to the beauty of the internet you can just start it again.
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Well shiver me timbers it's a new year already and what treasures lie within just one week into this new adventure on the high seas? Well, for one, I appear to have become a pirate so that's something to keep an eye on. Fingers crossed it's more loveable Jack Sparrow than I AM YOUR CAPTAIN NOW but I guess we'll see as the year sails on....
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Well the snow is on the ground (location dependent) and the jesus is about to pop out of Mary's magic hooha (religion dependent) so for the love of [insert fave deity] put your feet up and enjoy your well earned rest. While consuming diabetes-inducing levels of confectionary and The Things I Have Made To Entertain You That Do Technically Count As Gifts Because Although Artistically Satisfying Do Not Pay Well So I Can't Afford To Get You Anything Else.
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Anyone who knew me at university could tell by the posters of Reservoir Dogs and John Woo's The Killer on my wall that I was a) into movies and b) really super cool. Probably intimidatingly so. I assume that's why no girls ever came back to my room. But that didn't bother me, I was in there happily reading Cahiers du cinéma*.
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The nights are drawing in, the cold is wrapping its flaky fingers around us and in lieu of cuddling up to another human, I CREATE STUPIDITY THEN DIE ALONE. You are ever so welcome.
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