Thursday, 4 August 2016

Let Us 'Do' 'This'

Many greetings reader. I have awoken from my eSlumber and logged back on to the information superhighway to update this 'website'. Seriously though, does anyone look at comedians' websites when there's perfectly good YouTubes, Instagrams and Twitters to be had? Join my mailing list and receive this into your inbox. That's the future methinks. Did you like how that sentence looked both forwards and backwards in time? Me neither.

"But why now, Simon? Why have you decided to post this update now? Also do you have a MySpace page I hear they're coming back and how come you've not mentioned Pokemon Go yet you zeitgeist-riding hero?" The answer is a town in Scotland. And no, to the second one, they're absolutely not. And I spent ages getting all those 'real' friends. Is Zeitgeist the name of a Pokemon? JK I digress. The town in Scotland is EDINBURGH, home to the World's Largest Festival Of The Arts and More Drama Students In Matching Hoodies Than You Ever Though Possible.

The reason I've not updated this site in ages is because I have been hunkered down in front of my easel (laptop) myopically beavering away trying to carve some kind of show out of a husk of ideas and make it fun. I'm pretty sure that sentence made NO SENSE but what I'm saying is Making An Edinburgh Show Takes Ages, especially if instead of Writing Jokes, you make unnecessarily complicated videos and songs and t-shirts (more on that later).

But Some Kind Of Show I have made and by the power of Greyskull it starts TODAY (Thursday 4th August the year of our lord 2016) at 2pm in Just The Tonic Caves (Up The Road venue), until Sun 28th (not 15th & 22nd) It's FREE (to get in. All donations kindly accepted upon exit. Big ones receive some sweet sweet merch in exchange - TEES AND TOTES YO) (everyone gets a free sticker). (please buy a tee or tote or I'll be eating cotton until Xmas in lieu of buying food).  So that's the big news.

Twixt last missive and now there's been 3 more episodes of DIE TRYING which I'd really recommend you have a look at:

And I even went and finished my Game Of Thrones Season 6 series, all the way up to that stonking finale. So if you're all caught up (cuz spoilers obvs) then give that a peep too.

Mainly though, please come and see my Edinburgh show. It's much better with an audience. Otherwise it's just a man sitting in a room talking to himself. Like this. OH SNAP. I'm also part of a super-fun improv mayhem show called Comedians Cinema Club which runs from 14th-28th August at The Tron. Come see that too.

Enjoy the summer. Fingers crossed it makes it to Scotland. I'll be all over the socials keeping you abreast of the tears/rain. HIGH FIVE! *hands you flyer*

Thursday, 19 May 2016


I'll just let your vision regain focus for a second before belting into this big old bag of excitement nubs...

YES, my Edinburgh poster exists and I think it might be my meisterwerk. At this point it is MUCH better than my show but apparently "there's plenty of time".

What this means is that tickets are officially on sale at the EdFringe website should you wish to guarantee yourself a seat at what people are already calling A Show At The 2016 Edinburgh Fringe.

It's at 2pm at Just The Tonic Caves 'Up The Road' (that's the name of the room). It's FREE to get in (there will be a bucket collection at the end like the Free Fringe) but if you want to reserve a seat you can do so for £5. HOW EXCITING.

I can only imagine the amount of questions going through your mind right now, so luckily I documented the process that led to this INCREDOPOSTER for the latest episode of DIE TRYING, your favourite niche YouTube series:

How do you spend your Mondays? Me? Oh yeah I basically run around all day shouting about dragons then lock myself in a room editing until 10pm when everyone is fizzing from the new Game Of Thrones (UK broadcast) and unleash my thoughts in a review/recap/reaction format. This week I roped in comedian, GoT expert and all-round smashing Khaleesi Rachel Parris to help me. Look at it!

Wednesday, 11 May 2016


Well as one season turns into two others within the space of an hour (classic British weather bants), so continues the bi-weekly (in the fortnightly sense) roller-coaster ride that is DIE TRYING. This episode I put on my investigative hat (it's a trucker cap with beer can holders) and delve 'deep' into the world of fashion. Specifically, What I Wear Onstage. Should I dress like a 'grown-up' in a 'suit' (no need for those quotes) or continue to dress like the confused teenager I so clearly am? (hint: I'm typing this in skinny jeans & a pop-punk band t-shirt)

I don't know if you've seen any publicity for it (it's been pretty low-key) but GAME OF THRONES is back on our (premium-subscription) screens. On what seems like an almost weekly basis. As such, my Great Idea of Making An Unnecessarily Elaborate Reaction Video In One Day has really come back to bite me in the buttocks literally every Monday since (this week's low-rent tomfoolery took nearly 10 hours!). Ideally you'll be a fan of GoT and then watch these vids and make my life feel worthwhile. SIMPLE.

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