Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Born On The 28th Of December

Well it's been a minute (30240 to be exact - NO I'M NOT PROCRASTINATING), but I'm back from the Edinburgh Fringe or Arts Vietnam as no-one calls it. The main thing to report is that I'm alive and in time I'm sure i'll be able to be more prosaic in my recollection of events and maybe turn it into an Oscar-winning movie. For now, let's just say that it's a physical & emotional roller coaster of a month but I liked my show and so did most of the people who came, I think. I hope you came. I hope you liked it. IF YOU WEREN'T THERE YOU DON'T KNOW MAN.

For those unfortunate enough not to visit the Fringe and spend £285 to stay in a plastic-bathroomed Ibis hotel for one night on a weekend, I attempted to document some of the highs and lows of the fest in my 5-part Fringe vlog series entitled 'grind.'. It's like a mini version (less bells & whistles) of my DIE TRYING series. Diet Trying if you will. And you should.

My show will forever be memorialised in that slightly damp cave (and in the souvenir totes and tees for the lucky few) but if you'd like to get a taster of what you missed/relive the clamminess, I've uploaded a few of the videos featured in the show. They might be odd out of context but I think they're fun and COME ON THOSE TEETH THOUGH. Have a peek here:

Back to gigging and such in the coming weeks... Doing a few dates with Ellie Taylor on her tour so that should be double mega fun again.  Also finally got around to watching Stranger Things and it was great like you all said obvs. Right gotta go. Making that Deer Hunter poster took way too long.

Thursday, 4 August 2016

Let Us 'Do' 'This'

Many greetings reader. I have awoken from my eSlumber and logged back on to the information superhighway to update this 'website'. Seriously though, does anyone look at comedians' websites when there's perfectly good YouTubes, Instagrams and Twitters to be had? Join my mailing list and receive this into your inbox. That's the future methinks. Did you like how that sentence looked both forwards and backwards in time? Me neither.

"But why now, Simon? Why have you decided to post this update now? Also do you have a MySpace page I hear they're coming back and how come you've not mentioned Pokemon Go yet you zeitgeist-riding hero?" The answer is a town in Scotland. And no, to the second one, they're absolutely not. And I spent ages getting all those 'real' friends. Is Zeitgeist the name of a Pokemon? JK I digress. The town in Scotland is EDINBURGH, home to the World's Largest Festival Of The Arts and More Drama Students In Matching Hoodies Than You Ever Though Possible.

The reason I've not updated this site in ages is because I have been hunkered down in front of my easel (laptop) myopically beavering away trying to carve some kind of show out of a husk of ideas and make it fun. I'm pretty sure that sentence made NO SENSE but what I'm saying is Making An Edinburgh Show Takes Ages, especially if instead of Writing Jokes, you make unnecessarily complicated videos and songs and t-shirts (more on that later).

But Some Kind Of Show I have made and by the power of Greyskull it starts TODAY (Thursday 4th August the year of our lord 2016) at 2pm in Just The Tonic Caves (Up The Road venue), until Sun 28th (not 15th & 22nd) It's FREE (to get in. All donations kindly accepted upon exit. Big ones receive some sweet sweet merch in exchange - TEES AND TOTES YO) (everyone gets a free sticker). (please buy a tee or tote or I'll be eating cotton until Xmas in lieu of buying food).  So that's the big news.

Twixt last missive and now there's been 3 more episodes of DIE TRYING which I'd really recommend you have a look at:

And I even went and finished my Game Of Thrones Season 6 series, all the way up to that stonking finale. So if you're all caught up (cuz spoilers obvs) then give that a peep too.

Mainly though, please come and see my Edinburgh show. It's much better with an audience. Otherwise it's just a man sitting in a room talking to himself. Like this. OH SNAP. I'm also part of a super-fun improv mayhem show called Comedians Cinema Club which runs from 14th-28th August at The Tron. Come see that too.

Enjoy the summer. Fingers crossed it makes it to Scotland. I'll be all over the socials keeping you abreast of the tears/rain. HIGH FIVE! *hands you flyer*

Thursday, 19 May 2016


I'll just let your vision regain focus for a second before belting into this big old bag of excitement nubs...

YES, my Edinburgh poster exists and I think it might be my meisterwerk. At this point it is MUCH better than my show but apparently "there's plenty of time".

What this means is that tickets are officially on sale at the EdFringe website should you wish to guarantee yourself a seat at what people are already calling A Show At The 2016 Edinburgh Fringe.

It's at 2pm at Just The Tonic Caves 'Up The Road' (that's the name of the room). It's FREE to get in (there will be a bucket collection at the end like the Free Fringe) but if you want to reserve a seat you can do so for £5. HOW EXCITING.

I can only imagine the amount of questions going through your mind right now, so luckily I documented the process that led to this INCREDOPOSTER for the latest episode of DIE TRYING, your favourite niche YouTube series:

How do you spend your Mondays? Me? Oh yeah I basically run around all day shouting about dragons then lock myself in a room editing until 10pm when everyone is fizzing from the new Game Of Thrones (UK broadcast) and unleash my thoughts in a review/recap/reaction format. This week I roped in comedian, GoT expert and all-round smashing Khaleesi Rachel Parris to help me. Look at it!

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